Why Too Much Attention Can Confuse Your Puppy (or Dog!)
- Genna Rittenhouse
- Aug 12
- 4 min read
How Intentional Attention Helps Your Puppy Develop Trust and Learn Faster
Bringing a new puppy home is exciting—and let’s be honest, it’s hard to resist those eyes, or that puppy breath!! I’d make it into a candle if I could… Just me?? Many new dog owners (understandably!) shower their puppy with constant affection and attention the minute they get to their new home and for the weeks after that. Constant touching, picking up, moving while sleeping…
But here’s the truth most people aren’t told:
Too much unstructured attention can actually confuse your puppy and create or reinforce the very behaviors you’re trying to avoid.
In this post, we’ll explore how Intentional Attention—choosing when and why you give your puppy affection or interaction—builds a foundation of trust, structure, and a calm learning mindset. If you want to raise a puppy who listens, respects boundaries, and knows how to settle down, this simple mindset shift will change everything.
What Is Intentional Attention?
Intentional Attention means rewarding the behavior you want to see more of through your presence, touch, voice, and engagement. Our affection can be just as big a door prize as is anything else valuable to a puppy, or a dog.
Dogs don’t only learn from treats or corrections. They’re constantly learning from the attention you give them: when you talk to them, touch them, or even just look at them. Your timing with your attention speaks worlds to a canine.
For example, if you give attention every time your puppy jumps up on you, whines, barks, or follows you around, your puppy learns:
“If I act like this, I get access to you. I get what I want.”
But if you begin rewarding calm, quiet, patient behaviors with your attention, with your Marker words like “Yes!” and “Good dog” your puppy begins to notice the positive vibe you’re giving off… and they’ll want more of that. Paired with a well-timed pat at the appropriate time, and this is how you begin to teach your pup that your energy and affection is worth a whole lot more than they thought previously. Dogs learn through physical, visual and then verbal cues. By understanding how to interact with your dog throughout your daily routine, you’re able to have many meaningful training conversations through teachable moments… without realizing you’re even doing so. This is the true art of Lifestyle Training. Understanding your dog on their level to achieve organic results and build a lasting, trust-filled relationship.
The Problem with Free-Flowing Attention
When a puppy receives non-stop affection and interaction, several things can happen:
They become overstimulated — leading to jumping, barking, the zoomies, or our least favorite nipping.
They struggle to self-soothe when you're not constantly engaging with them.
They demand attention through whining, pawing, following you, or nipping.
They don’t learn boundaries, and become confused when rules are eventually introduced.
Remember: attention is a powerful form of reinforcement. If you give it freely and constantly, your puppy never learns how to work for it… or how to be okay without it.
I always jokingly say in private coaching sessions with clients that “I’m that cool girl, and your puppy is going to want to gain my attention all the time now, because I’m deliberate with it.”
3 Everyday Examples of Intentional Attention For Your Puppy:
Looking to understand what it means to practice Intentional Attention?
Greeting/Marking Calm Behavior:
Instead of rushing to say hi the moment your puppy runs to you, wait a few moments for when they have all their paws on the ground. So long as they have “Four on the Floor,” you may greet your puppy but don’t do so in such an excitable manner that it amps your pup’s energy level too high. Maintaining a calm energy means your puppy will have to match it to get attention.
Ignoring Whining in the Crate:
It’s tempting to try to reassure a whining pup in the crate, but coming too quickly to the rescue means you’re reinforcing the “if I keep at crying and whining I’ll get out of here.” If your puppy is protesting super loudly, and they are due to be released from their crate nap, wait for a moment of calm and quiet, then let your pup out. This teaches your pup patience, independence and crate confidence.
Praise Gently for Calm Choices:
When your pup decides to lay calmly at your feet, or go to their bed and chew their teething item of choice, mark the behavior with a calm “Good” or “Yes.” Capturing a behavior like this means you’re signaling without much effort that you like this behavioral choice made… and they should do more of that.
Don’t Feel Guilty About Downtime:
Part of using attention intentionally means not giving it all the time. Puppies need time to rest, observe, and settle without constant interaction.
Building confidence comes from learning they can be okay on their own too.
Being a good puppy parent isn’t about entertaining your dog 24/7—it’s about teaching them how to navigate the world calmly and confidently. Learning how to practice Intentional Attention creates a clear communication channel between you and your puppy. It helps them feel safe, seen, and supported—without confusion with attention at the wrong times.
And if you’re in Charlotte, NC and want personalized help at home, I offer private in-home puppy coaching designed to make this process feel clear, connected, and fun—for both of you.
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